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Sex position: The wheelbarrow
Kneel with your back to your man, then bend forward and rest your hands and elbows on the floor. It helps to clasp your hands together for balance. He then gently lifts and holds your legs while he enters you from the rear.
Why it feels good for you:
Penetration is deep and satisfying. It’s also great fun.
Why it feels good for him:
Performed on the floor, this position allows the couple to move around a lot, hence its name.
How to vary it:
From a standing sex position with him entering you from the rear, bend forward far enough to get into the wheelbarrow position. While he’s crouching behind you, wrap your legs around his back and allow his thighs to support your lower body. From here his hands can reach under your belly and caress your breasts.
Drawback:
This position calls for a fair amount of physical flexibility.
Tip:
If you aren’t that athletic, it’s much less tiring for both of you, so try it with the woman using a chair or bed to support the upper part of her body.
We’ve finally found the clit!
By: Dorothy Black
I only found out about my clit last year. Well. The whole of it at least. The whole other part that is attached to the little bean I so know and love and that spreads out and around my vaginal canal and down into the fleshy bulbs that make my inner labia swell with joy. It’s a whole subvulvic world of wonder I tell you.
Last year, at the Sexuality and Consciousness Conference, a sexologist named Andrew Barnes took to the stage to tell us something both mind-blowing and reassuring: The vagina is not a mystery. Orgasm is not a mystery. In fact, women’s bodies are arranged for pleasure.
With diagrams and photos of medical cross-sections, he outlined for us everything from the internal structure of the clit to labia to the prostate.
I had never quite looked at a vagina with that much dedicated observational focus before.
While Andrew may not have uncovered these facts, he’s doing a great job of spreading the word of yoni to all that will hear. And praise be, cos we could sure do with some enlightening. Sitting in a room full of sexually liberated and educated women and men, I was relieved to find that I was not the only one who expressed surprise at the information that’s come to light about length, depth and breadth of the female sexual anatomy.
In hundreds of years of dissecting and labelling the human body, it was only in the 1990s that we started checking out the structure of the clit with MRI scans. Between then and the mid-2000s detailed reports by urologist Helen O’Connell about the scope of the clitoris went largely unnoticed. It was only in 2009 when two French researchers, Odile Buisson and Pierre Foldès, produced the world’s first 3D pics of the internal structure of the clitoris that the world took notice.
So here we are. Thousands of years of civilisation and we’ve only just ‘discovered’ the marvel that is the clitoris.
A basic introduction to your internal clit
Right now a lot of focus is being placed on the ‘internal clit’, but what I liked about Andrew is that he basically covered the whole vaginal area. Here’s what I learnt (I hope you appreciate my totally suitable for work artist’s impression of ‘Only the things I’m interested in showing’ cross-section diagram).
So the clit itself basically comprises the glans (the little bean that’s covered by a hood, and what we generally think of when we think ‘clitoris’), a shaft that extends into the body as clitoral ‘legs’ in a wish-bone shape that hugs the vaginal canal, and clitoral bulbs made up of erectile tissue (this is what makes your inner labia swell up when you get super horny).
When you massage your clitoral area – from bean to lips to vaginal opening – you’re basically stimulating all the erectile tissue that surrounds the vagina.
The clitoral hood itself is connected to the inner labia, so as this engorges, the hood pulls back, exposing the glans to stimulation. With over 8 000 nerve endings, the glans is the only body part that is designed only for pleasure, providing no other function than to hotwire sensation to the rest of the internal structure and make you sigh or scream. (As an aside, after initial arousal I’ve found that gently squeezing just the lips together – remember these are ‘home’ to the bulbs – is incredibly orgasmic.)
Now something that’s not mentioned in chats about the internal clit is the prostate gland and what this means for the ‘g spot’. Well, considering we now know how extensive the clit is, I think it’s a safe bet to say that there really isn’t something like a separate ‘internal’ and ‘external’ orgasm.
Nevertheless, the female prostate surrounds the urethra and extends into the tissue of the vaginal wall – if you pop a finger into your vagina facing up towards your belly you should be able to feel a slightly rough or bumpy area. This is the female prostate and what is known as the ‘g spot area’. Its close proximity to the urethra is also the reason some women might feel they want to pee if it’s poked or stroked too much even when they have an empty bladder.
But that’s not all there is to the vagina. We haven’t even touched on the skenes glands, which may or may not be the source of female ejaculate, or the Bartholins glands, which are there to provide a touch of lubrication to the outer area. At least we’re mostly sure of this.
Fact is, there’s still so much we don’t know.
What does this mean for you?
I suppose one of the most important aspects of this for me is that we now know how totally structured the female genitals are for pleasure. This should say a lot for why we labour under shame or disgust at our bodies.
The more empowered we are to know how our bodies function, the better equipped we are to manage or, hopefully dispel, inherited guilt and shame about ourselves and our sexuality.
We’ve found what’s under the tip of the iceberg, and, as they say, with great knowledge comes great responsibility to get your sexy on. Or something like that. Go forth, explore your clit – the whole of it – and report back. We should be swopping notes on this.
3 Turn-Ons for Men
Because, when it comes to sex, giving can be as pleasurable as receiving.
I’ve already given you the secrets to instantly arouse him. Now, take it a step further and stimulate his hottest sexual fantasies.
Here’s how:
Speak up & compliment him
In bed, play coy (they love it!), flirt, talk dirty and tell him exactly how and where you like it to be done. The thing is, some guys are actually insecure when it comes to sex and their performance, so advising him and then most importantly, praising him when he gets it right, will always go down a treat!
Experiment and show your fun side
Let go of all your inhibitions and try (or better yet, suggest) a new or risqué sex position in, perhaps, a different location. Think adventure… Think thrill… And I guarantee you, he will melt! Too out there for you? No problem. Get in touch with your gentler wild side and propose that you watch a bit of porn together.
Be confident about your body
It’s hard to BE sexy if you don’t FEEL sexy. Boost your self-esteem and eradicate downbeat emotions by dressing in clothes that make you look good. Find lingerie to flaunt your shape and then wear it with poise and absolute surety. If you feel a little conscious at first, simply close your eyes and bask in the knowledge that you’re fulfilling his every desire.
5 Rules for Outdoor Sex
With warmer weather upon us, many-a-couple are overcome by two innate urges:
• To be outside; and
• To get their freak on.
That’s fair. And, if you ask us, totally acceptable. But, before you heed your call to the wild, consider the following:
Dress accordingly.
Sex in the open is illegal. But, seeing as the whole idea of getting caught is part of its appeal, this is only a minor concern. Be clever about it, and wear clothes that do not require much P.T. That is, a floaty skirt or slip dress and NO underwear.
Have a code.
If you know what the penalties are for public indecency (in whatever country/city or town you’re in), then I’m sure you’ll want to be at least a teensy bit cautious. Be clever about it, and pay attention to your surroundings. If danger looms, then have a secret sign, symbol or language that alerts you both.
Tip: Prepare a realistic story/excuse in case you DO have a run-in…
Forego foreplay.
Unless you’re in a secluded spot, there usually isn’t time for any of the usual kafoefelry. Be clever about it, and use lube instead.
Pack in a blanket.
Believe it: an itchy rash, bruised knees and/or ‘carpet’ burns can be wicked. Be clever about it, and bring something – preferably old – to throw over dirt patches, sand, stone or prickly grass.
Condomise.
It doesn’t matter that you’re on the pill or that you’re in a committed relationship. Even if you don’t usually wear one, being outside means you can forget about clean, running water. Be clever about it, and use a condom. It will keep things tidier. And it’s hygienic too!
A twist on an old favourite, guaranteed to hit your most sensitive spots. Ladies… THIS one, like these over here – is for you!
The Starfish, derived from the classic Coital Alignment Technique, offers clitoral stimulation like no other.
How to do it:
This position works best if you’re both properly aroused, so I recommend starting off with a bit of foreplay, followed by a slow Missionary, and then – if he can manage to keep a steady rhythm – moving on to the much-desired CAT, first.
• Once you’re both really hot and horny, advance to the Starfish.
• Lie on a bed, floor or any flat surface with your heads opposite directions.
• With your back slightly arched, lift your legs so that you’re essentially on top of him.
• Form a Scissor around his lower abdomen and hold his hands for better control.
• Instead of the customary in and out movement, experiment by Rocking back and forth and side to side.
• Or, make it even more intense by forcing your legs (okay, upper thighs) together which guarantees endless pressure and pleasure on your clitoris.
Erotic Spanking: Dos & Don’t’s
Spanking (also known as ‘spankolphilia’) is the physical act of slapping or striking your partner’s ‘backside’ in a sensual manner. Spanking can range from a playful tap on your rear-end to a drawn-out performance during sex or role-play, incorporating toys and even a bit of porn.
Why spank?
Believe it or not, in many cultures pain is seen as an aphrodisiac. With that being said, spanking can be pleasurable for both the giver and the receiver. Most men will fantasize about slapping their woman and yes, some women dream of the same too. Whilst men tend to enjoy the control and dominance of the actual act, women generally love the feeling of vulnerability and submission towards their man.
Do…
Ask your partner first: I suppose this one is for the men. Surprising your partner with a thump to her bump might not turn out as well as you’d like it to. Talk to her first to see if she likes the idea.
Make your partner feel safe: Again, this is for him. Thing is, gentlemen, if she is comfortable with you, then you’ll be able to get away with many of your filthy fantasies. Ladies? If you are getting hurt – or want to him to stop for whatever reason – then speak up. You have a right to say no.
Warm up: Ease into spanking by starting gently and make sure that your lover is aroused. The more aroused you both are, the more you’ll enjoy the spanking and the less pain you will feel.
Show some love: Kiss and caress your partner in between ‘spankings’ to show that it is a form of foreplay and not part of a sadist ritual. Remember, the end result you are looking for is a mind-blowing orgasm – Not just pain.
Positions: Place yourself in a position that allows your hand to move freely and in a way that it will easily reach your partner’s behind. When being spanked support your body with a knee or cushion, this will cause your clitoris to simultaneously stoke up against it, increasing arousal.
Make use of costumes & apparatus: If you are comfortable enough to have some more spanking-fun, why not introduce your partner to some kinky costumes? You can go for the usual naughty school girl look or try something daring like a “spank skirt” which is designed with an opening to expose your lady hump.
Experiment with fetish materials like lace and leather. Spanking isn’t limited to the use of your hand. Try a paddle or whip if you’d like to.
Don’t:
Do it if your partner says no: If you’ve already broached the subject of spanking, with your lover and they didn’t like it then don’t force it or spring it on them during sexual encounters. Remember that it is meant to be enjoyable - not cruel. Talk to your partner about your desires and come up with a compromise.
Whack away: Listen to your partners moans and use them to gauge how far and hard you can go. If you immediately start whacking away it might pass the point of enjoyment and only cause pain.
Spanking: Is it for you?
5 Secrets to Sensational Sex
Mixture
How can you expect to have mind-blowing sex if you’re always doing it in the missionary, at home, at night, on your bed, with the TV on, the door closed, the curtains drawn, and sporting your old-faithful flannel PJs? Come. On.
Spice things up with a new position, be risqué and get outdoors, experiment with sex toys, try role play, dress up in lingerie… heck… the options - and variations – are endless!
Frequency
Getting your shag on once, every other month is just criminal. Especially if you’re young and in a healthy and stable relationship.
The gurus reckon you should be having sex about four times a month. But, if you don’t have a libido issue and if your man isn’t suffering with an erectile dysfunction – and, if you follow our sex tips and libido boosting advice – then I would aim for double that amount.
Communication
We’ve highlighted the significance of openness and honesty. Now, let this be the last time we emphasise its importance.
Talk about your needs, wants and desires, and don’t simply condemn or criticise ideas that your partner puts forward.
Intimacy
Emotional connection: Do you share secrets? Exchange thoughts? Laugh together?
Physical connection: Do you still kiss? Touch? Hold hands?
It’s these small, yet meaningful things that couples tend to overlook, that could, ultimately, affect their libidos.
Eroticism
Just as variety can bring excitement to the bedroom, so too can erotica. Watch SNVLs together, visit adult shops, exchange sexy midday texts… Basically, go wild. It keeps your sexual appetites soaring!
Oral Sex
Although humans aren’t the only animals known to have oral sex
It is definitely one of the coolest things we, as a species can do. Move over opposable thumbs, hello oral sex! The variations are endless. It can be intimate, dirty, loving, kind, evil… The trick to giving great oral sex is to enjoy it!
Easiest position for cunnilingus:
Lie flat on your back on a comfy bed. He lies between your legs (it helps if he’s half-on, half-off the bed). You can either put your head on a cushion if you like to watch or you can let your head hang off the bed for that blood-rushing-to-your -brain feeling.
Pros:
Because you’re on your back your belly looks relatively flat so you can admire yourself while his head is between your legs.
He has access to your breasts.
Feeling playful?
Sit on a chair (office or kitchen chair works best) He sits on the floor between your knees.
Pros:
For women who like a little power rush this works a charm.
Also, you can explore that whole office sex fantasy thing. Specially if you sit at a desk and he crawls underneath. “Oh John, you’re going to have to explain these spreadsheets as soon as you’re done down there!”
Or for the more brazen…
He lies on the bed and you – well there’s only one way to say this really – sit on his face.
Pros:
You control the pressure etc.
Most men find it wildly erotic – if you don’t smother him!
You know that thing we mentioned earlier about the power rush. Mmm. Just the ticket.
Easiest position for fellatio:
Having him lie on his back. Or on your sides, facing each other.
Pros:
Humping his leg will let you be part of the action and also – he’ll think your writhing looks hot.
Feeling playful?
Do the porn thing and have him stand while you go down on your knees.
Pros:
If you like to feel submissive, being on your knees generally does the trick. If you’re not very excited or a little bit drunk, kneel on a cushion, unless you enjoy a bit of pain, of course. Hey, a world of no judgement.
You can look up at him adoringly/ naughtily/ hungrily (take your pick) and this adds zing. Men love it when you have a pube-moustache.
Actually experiencing how his legs turn to jelly when he comes makes you feel like a sex goddess. Go you!
And of course the 69…
A lot of things in life works better when it’s a joint effort. But not necessarily in this case. Although the 69 is probably one of the most famous positions (it sounds so damn good in theory!) most people find that you can’t concentrate on two things at the same time, ie. you can’t focus on his orgasm and expect to come. Well, most of the time, anyway.
